


And You're Shining Like The Sun Above

by coolest



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Domestic, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Parents, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Daddy Louis, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Family Feels, Harry Styles Loves Louis Tomlinson, Humor, Husbands, Implied Sexual Content, Kid Fic, Larry Stylinson Is Real, Light Angst, London, Louis Tomlinson Loves Harry Styles, M/M, Marriage, Parent Harry, Parent Louis, References to Depression, Summer, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Underage Drinking, idk if I'm missing tags lord forgive me if i am, papa harry, they're so in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2016-06-27
Packaged: 2018-07-18 15:51:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7321327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coolest/pseuds/coolest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'Jasper’s hair is out of control. A lot more out of control than Harry’s hair was. Today, he’s wearing a lemon yellow bandana to hold back all his curls and the colour brings out the golden specks in his eyes as well as the natural red tint of his cheeks. </p><p>To be honest, Harry’s pretty fucking proud at how cool his kids are.'</p><p>AKA: A look into the chaotically beautiful life of the Tomlinson-Styles family. <br/>Or, the fic where Louis and Harry are still trying to figure out how to be parents 5 kids later.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And You're Shining Like The Sun Above

**Author's Note:**

> re-posted this a long time ago but bc it sucked ass i edited it (again) and posted it (again)  
> hope you like it!!!!
> 
> 1) Margaret Ora Tomlinson-Styles (17, Capricorn-earth)  
> 2) Jasper Knox Tomlinson-Styles (15, Aries-fire)  
> 3) Indigo Rue Tomlinson-Styles (6, twin, Gemini-air)  
> 4) Sage Lewis Tomlinson-Styles (6, twin, Gemini-air)  
> 5) Waverly Blue Tomlinson-Styles (4, Scorpio-water)

It’s 5:15 in the morning when Harry wakes up. His mind is fuzzy and his vision is blurry. He spends ten minutes on his back staring up at the ceiling, eyes following the small patches of silvery light streaming in the open blinds and creating patterns on the ceiling and floor. 

There’s the weight of another body lying on the left half of his body, face buried in the crook of Harry’s neck and hot breathe fanning against his neck. This body is warm and solid, familiar and safe. Even when he’s asleep, Louis burns as hot as a supernova, lives like one too- bright and sudden and explosive. 

In the dark of the room, with it’s silvery light and shadows, Harry looks down at the face on his chest and makes out the lines and curves of Louis’ face before coming to the conclusion that yes, Louis is his own personal source of light and that yes, Louis is all he’s ever going to need- regardless of what lifetime they’re living in. 

Louis shifts suddenly and his hand moves up Harry’s torso until it’s spanned out right below the base of his neck. “Stop.” 

Like it always is in the morning, Louis’ voice is soft and hoarse. It reminds Harry of a cup of tea on a cold winters day, or a teaspoon of honey. He smiles and moves his hand up Louis’ back until his hands are tangled up in the mess that is Louis’ hair in the morning. He tugs and plays with the hairs at the nape of Louis. Neck, preening at the affectionate hum Louis lets out. 

“What?” 

Louis turns his head so that it’s facing up at Harry’s and opens his eyes slowly, eyes squinting slightly in order to get used to all the small amounts of light that hadn’t been experienced by him when he’d been sleeping. 

As Louis adjusts to being awake, Harry watches him in awe. It’s sort of like this- 

Every time Harry thinks of him he thinks of the universe, just lying in the palms of his hands. All of it. Because Louis’ great like that- could do something great like that. 

He’s all soft hazy blue eyes and faint outline of his own hand imprinted onto his flushed cheeks. The frown on his face is a frown Harry is desperate to kiss away and he swears to all that has life an feels love that there is nothing more spectacular than getting to see Louis like this- full of warmth and love ad sleep. 

“Stop thinking so much,” Louis murmurs, hand moving underneath the covers to find Harry’s hand. When their hands meet, they interlock and Harry releases a deep breath he never knew he’d been keeping in. “Go back to sleep.” 

Harry laughs silently; body vibrating with the sounds that escape his slightly parted lips. He watches Louis smile, eyes gleaming brighter, even in this darkness, and Harry’s heart grows heavier with all the weight of love and raw emotion he’s got for this boy- this man- above him. 

He brushes his thumb across his cheeks and tells Louis he loves him- “more than anything in the whole world.” he concludes, grinning when Louis grins. 

“I love you.” Louis replies. “I love you in a way no one’s ever loved any other person before.” 

Harry smiles and takes in a deep breath of air, eyes fluttering close when Louis’ index finger begins to the line of his jaw. “You’re my boy.” 

Louis scoffs. “I’m nobody’s boy. I’m a man Haz,” he says, sighing over-dramatically whilst rolling his eyes, “I’m 36 years old for heavens sake. Stop calling me a boy.” 

“Okay, fine then. You’re my man.”

“Now that’s more like it.”

Harry chuckles. Minutes pass by before any movement between them is made. He’s the first to break the comfortable silence they’ve enveloped themselves in. “I’ve got to wake the kids up.” He mumbles, lazy and sad because he never wants to leave Louis. However it’s 5:45 and they’ve got five kids to wake up and get to school. 

Louis groans and shakes his head, frowning deeply. “Don’t,” he pleads, sitting up so that he’s on his bum with his legs crossed beside Harry. “Let them sleep Harry, please.” He continues to whine, furrowing his eyebrows and sucking his bottom lip into his mouth. 

Harry opens his mouth to ask him why he’s being so emotional about their kids going to school when it’s been a big deal before. Louis cuts him off before he can ask though. 

“Sometimes it feels as if everything’s happening so fast. Like, we’re getting older and they’re also getting older and I don’t want to ever leave them or have them leave me, y’know? Like, I want to stay exactly like this with them and you forever. I-fuck, do I sound insane? I feel insane-” 

“-You don’t.” Harry blurts out, cutting him off and startling the both of them at the same time. He sits up as well, facing Louis with his legs crossed and his knees knocking against Louis’. His hands rest on top Louis’ bare thighs and Louis deflates at the contact. “You don’t sound crazy,” he tells him, eyes unwavering. “I get it. But they’ve got to grow up. Not everyone can stay young forever like you baby.” 

Louis laughs, eyes shining brightly with delight and joy and fuck- Harry’s so gone for this boy, loves him so much. 

He leans forward and presses his lips against Louis’ forehead. Louis moves closer and wraps his arms around his neck, burying his head into the crook of his neck once again. A shiver runs up his spine when he feels Harry run his hands down his back and he lifts his head quickly to look into Harry’s eyes. 

When Louis smiles, it’s like watching a sunrise but so much better. It’s big and bright and so bloody fantastic. Harry can’t remember when he became the biggest sap known to ever exist. And he doesn’t fucking care to know. All he knows is that in front of him he’s got the most beautiful man in the world looking at him as if he’s created this entire world for them to live together in with their beautiful children. 

 

“Just call me Peter Pan.” Louis whispers, eyes searching for something in Harry’s eyes. He drags his finger across Harry’s face and dips it into one of his dimples. 

(“Papa you’ve got holes in your cheeks.”)

“Peter Pan was just a little bit psychotic, don’t you think?” 

“Yeah!” Louis exclaims quietly, trying to keep his voice down so the kids don’t wake up earlier than they’re meant to. “He was, but I’m more chilled. I’m not opposed to growing up Haz; I just think that growing up is something you should want to do, and not something you’re forced to do. 

There’s an explosion happening in the pit of Harry’s stomach and he’s one hundred per cent sure that the two of them are going to love each other for ever and ever because there’s no other person for him. And, like, he sort of gets what Margaret means every time she rolls her eyes and tells him that he’s just a tad bit obsessed with Louis because he is- he loves him, they love each other and honestly, what does she know? She’s just an overly out-spoken seventeen year old girl who thinks she knows everything there is to know about life when truth is, she doesn’t. Harry’s 35 and he doesn’t even know everything there is to know about life. Despite all this, he loves her. He loves her so much. He just hopes that one-day, this whole ‘I know everything’ stage passes as quickly as her emo stage that she went through when she’d been thirteen. 

(Margaret tries not to bring that part of her life up but Louis never forgets to remind her any chance he gets.)

They pull away from each other and Harry swings his legs off the bed. His entire body feels heavy and he can feel Louis’ fingers dancing up his spine. It makes it harder to get out of bed. He shakes his head and throws his hair up into a bun before standing up and pulling on some sweats. There really is no point for him to put a shirt on, so he doesn’t. He turns around and lifts his gaze up to meet Louis’, who’s already looking back at him. 

“Okay,” he says, “yeah.” The edges of his lips curve up into a smile. “I’m your Wendy… remember?” Louis nods his head, biting on his bottom lip. “And I won’t leave you, like she left him, okay? Because I’m useless with you.” 

Harry needs him to know this- knows it’s what Louis needs sometimes, for someone to tell him his important to him or her. 

Louis lies down on his stomach and props his elbows on the bed, head resting on the palms of his hands. “Really?” he taunts, smiling fondly and watching each movement that Harry makes. 

“Yeah. It’s sort of funny actually. I can barely survive without you.” 

“S’not funny at all love. Quite romantic to be honest, a bit corny but I love you too and I can barely survive without you either and I’m even more useless without you than you are without me.” 

“I don-“

“-You’re my Wendy.” Louis cuts him off, grinning. The corners of his eyes are crinkled and Harry loves him. He loves him, he loves him, and he loves him. He’ll love him forever. “We’re practically written in the stars.”

Harry laughs and it’s too loud and too fond. Louis’ quick to shut him up but he’s laughing too. “People are actually sleeping Wendy!” he whisper-shouts, eyes narrowing. “Jesus! I should’ve let you leave when you had to.” 

To love and be loved by a man whom cries at the concept of growing up or watching the ones he loves grow up is truly a great experience. 

(“Growing up means leaving, or even worse, dying. I don’t want that type of heartbreak for anyone Harry- for me especially.”)

*

The closest room to theirs is Indigo and Sage’s. It’s to the left of their room and the door is filled with different stickers and drawings like; “Jasper the Pastor rules” or “Margo is my favourite person in the world” or, even, “Daddy’s the best looking lad in the universe.” 

Right in the middle of the door, with a frame made out of noodles, among all the chaos around it, is a drawing that Indigo drew at school and it’s of their family. Waverly has been drawn as the sun and Louis’ been drawn as the moon, together they’ve been drawn beside each other. Harry’s been drawn as all four trees standing proud and crooked- he’s got beautiful, bright leaves falling and growing off the tips of his branches. Indigo’s drawn both her and Sage as two sunflowers, tangled together in a mess and Margaret’s been drawn as the sky above them all with Jasper as the wind. 

Harry opens the door and the room is still dark- almost black. There’s a streak of silvery light shining across the room and underneath the identical rainbow printed duvets lay two little people with a full head of blonde curls that can be seen poking out. From where he’s standing, Harry can make out the outlines of Indigo’s face. He smiles and wakes quietly over to Sage’s bed where he kneels down next to him and moves the covers further down his body so that he can see his face. 

“Sage,” he whispers right into his ear, “you’ve got to wake up love. It’s the first day back at school.” 

Sage frowns and yawns, shifting away from Harry who chuckles softly. 

“C’mon, don’t make me get daddy to come instead of me to wake you up.” 

“B-but papa, I don’t wanna go to school. I wanna stay in bed.” He slurs, voice thick with sleep. Harry runs his hand up and down Sage’s back and nods his head, understanding. It’s awful sending your kids off to school knowing how awful school really is. And Harry knows they haven’t gotten to that stage of their lives yet, when things start getting harder and harder to handle but god, he knows how tough it’s going to get.

“I know baby,” he sighs, “but you’ve got to. And … and you’re going to get to see Ricky and Ginny again. Didn’t you miss them? I know you’ve missed them.” He croons softly, hoping that he sounds convincing. “Plus, it’s your first day in big school today. You’re a big boy now, aren’t you?” 

Sage opens his eyes and he’s all hazel eyes and soft blonde curls. He’s got skin as fair as porcelain dolls, big cheeks, deep red lips and dimples that dig deep into his cheeks every time he smiles- just like Indigo and his papa. He looks so much like Harry that it terrifies him some times because this little human is his little human and it’s frightening to know that all these little humans are looking up to him. 

When Sage smiles, it starts of slow but when it’s finally there it’s big and sugary sweet. He nods his head like what Harry’s just said to him is the greatest thing he’s ever heard and it’s so amusing to watch him grow into himself and figure himself out. Harry can’t help but laugh. 

“You’re right papa,” he murmurs before clearing out his throat and rubbing his eyes. “I’m big now and big people are never late to school. Right papa?” 

Harry pushes back a couple strands of loose blonde hair back behind his ears, and watches him blink slowly, little hand rubbing at his chest. The streak of silvery light grows lighter as the day begins and Sage has got to blink his eyes rapidly in an attempt to get used to it. 

He stares at Harry before flickering his gaze to his twin sister sleeping in the bed next to his. 

“Can I wake up Indie?” 

Harry nods his head. “Sure love.” 

Sage slides out of bed; clad in this horrid set of Peter Pan pajamas that Louis practically forced Gemma to get for him when she’d gone to America last year December. He drags his feet over to Indigo’s bed and sits right beside her face before placing his hand on her shoulder. 

“Indie … Indie, wake up.” He whispers, shaking her body gently. 

She groans loudly, the sound vibrates against the wall and she turns her body away from his huffing as she does so. “Stop it.” She grumbles, shaking her shoulder as an attempt to shake Sage’s hand off of her. “Stop.”

(Indigo is a tiny little replica of Louis. Everything she says or does reminds Harry of Louis, from her bossiness, stubbornness and bluntness all the way to how sweet and selfless she can be when it came to the ones she loved-especially Sage. 

With Indigo, there was no highway. It was either her way or no other way.) 

It’s hard to hold back the grin that spreads across Harry’s face when he catches Sage’s frown. 

“C’mon Indie, we’re big people now. Daddy and Papa even said so! Big people don’t act like little people. We’re six now,” Sage tries to reason, hand moving up and down her arm, “we’re even bigger than big. We’re huge!”

(Sage Lewis Tomlinson-Styles and Indigo Rue Tomlinson-Styles were born one month earlier than they were meant to on the 18th of June. Sage had been five minutes before Indigo who had actually come out as a huge shock to everyone considering no one had any knowledge of Sage being a twin. However, they’re here now and they’re loved so greatly.)

Indigo whines softly. They’re room is bright and the walls are filled with so many drawings from Indigo- because she really loves drawing- and sentences that hardly make sense from Sage- because he’s already decided that he wants to be a writer, even though the only sentence he can actually write is; “The dog jumped over the cat.”

There are stickers and doodles all over the wall that have all been drawn in either sharpie or permanent marker and, to be honest, the room is just extremely chaotic. There are teddy bears and star wars dolls scattered across the floor. There’s one Barbie cello-taped right above each of their beds and-whatever, y’know? Harry’s aware that they aren’t the most spectacular artists in all of England but one day they’re going to absolute fucking stars. He can feel it in his bones. 

Finally, she sits up and leans back against her bedframe. She rubs her eyes and yawns, arms rising up in the air as she stretches her body. Her cheeks are flushed and when she opens her eyes they’re a shockingly bright green. She is so beautiful. 

Her eyes find Harrys and she blinks up at him, frowning. “Papa,” she whines softly, slumping forward, “come give me a hug please.”  
Harry coos and moves towards her, hands immediately resting at her tiny little waist. He kisses the tip of her nose and relishes at the sound of her giggling when he lifts her into the air and begins to spin her around, and around. She’s giggling out loud, entire body moving with it. The house is too quiet for such jubilant laughter but Harry wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Next to them, sitting with his legs dangling off the bed, Sage laughs with them. However his is muffled into his fist. His eyes are gleaming and holy mother of god they are so beautiful. Harry is mesmerized by everything that they are.

Out of nowhere, Indigo lets out this screech that surprises all three of them. “Put me down!” she giggles, eyes crossing over. “I’m dizzy, …” she tells him with a dopey smile on her face. She grips onto his shoulders when he spins her around once more and throws her head back, mouth open wide as she lets out little gasps of laughter from her thick pink lips. 

“Papa, Indie wants to be put down!” Sage demands, hand patting against his thigh and pulling on the waistband of his sweatpants. 

Harry gasps loudly, earning a giggle out of Sage-which is exactly what he’d been aiming for- and presses Indigo against his check, hand moving up to rest against her head while the other rests on the dip of her back. 

“Sugar,” Harry sings against her head, pressing kisses against her scalp. “I love you but you’ve got to remember to keep it down in the mornings, okay? No matter how much fun you’re having because daddy, Jas, Margo and Wave are all still asleep and we don’t want to wake them up right?”

Indigo’s still smiling into his chest and when she pulls her head back to look up at him, her cheeks are flushed bright pink. Harry kisses the tip of her nose before putting her back down on her bed. She stands up quickly and Harry raises an eyebrow at her, eliciting a bigger grin from her. 

“And no-“

Harry’s question is cut short by the finger that presses harshly against his lips. He furrows his eyebrows at Indigo who, like always, is completely unfazed by life. 

“-Shhhh…” she whispers, looking up at him through thick matted eyelashes. Her eyes never leave his. When she trusts that Harry will not say anything, she places each of her hands on either side of Harry’s face and smiles. “I love you papa.” 

Her eyes are blazing in this early morning light. Harry nods his head despite how overwhelmed with unconditional love he feels burning at every corner of his body. 

“I love you too sugar.” He tells her, carding his fingers through her tangled curls. “How about I ran you two a bath, yeah? And when you get out you can make all the noise you want. You can scream and shout and sing and whatever. How does that sound?” 

“Okay.” Indigo confirms, jumping off the bed and moving to go sit next to Sage who’s been quiet all this time. The two of them clasp their hands and lay them down on their laps simultaneously, as if they’d planned it. “Cool.” 

“Yeah,” Sage adds in, dramatically narrowing his green eyes at him. “Promise?” 

“I promise.” 

*

Harry bathes them quickly and allows them to pick out their own choice of clothing because the last time he tried to pick out clothing for them, Indigo nearly set the world on fire with her anger. 

(And no one wants an angry Indigo. Believe Harry when he says this.)

*

Harry leaves their room shortly after making sure they were washed, dried, moisturized and happy. He closes their door softly behind him and takes in a deep inhalation of air before proceeding over to the bedroom door opposite from the twins, but just a teeny tiny bit further down. Just the thought of having to deal with Jasper this early in the morning gives Harry a headache. 

Unfortunately he has to though, because: 1) if he didn’t wake him up Jasper would literally never get out of his bed and he’d just lay there and die at the age of 15 from doing nothing but strum a guitar and sing until he couldn’t, 

2) It’s the first day back at school after the summer holidays and Harry needs him to graduate so he can let him breathe, 

And 3) Jasper’s growing up way too quickly and it’s been hard having to watch it happen in front of him for the entirety of the summer without a break so Harry predicts that by everyone returning-or starting, like Waverly- back to school, his stress with subside by, like, 30%. 

“Wake up.” Harry demands as soon as he barges into Jaspers room. His heart drops at the mess scattered all across the floor- at the clothes at every corner of the room and the ripped posters cello-taped to the walls. There are papers with song lyrics he’s written lying on his desk and even more song lyrics by him and other musicians written in permanent marker on the wall, as well as other confusing phrases like; ‘Comfortably numb’ or ‘All I want in life right now is a fucking burger!?’ 

(Which, like, Harry totally gets because he also wants a burger. However, he needs to get his priorities straight first and right now those priorities are making sure all 5 kids get up, get dressed, eat and get to school on time for their first day.)(Harry spots a drawing of a marijuana leaf and tries his best to ignore it.)

“Jasper, you need to wake up.” Harry huffs, crossing his arms over his chest as he watches Jasper’s lanky body shuffle underneath his sheets. As predicated, he reply and Harry sighs. He walks past his guitar lying on the floor, at the end of his bed and stops at his drum set where his microphone is laying, unplugged and tangled in some other shit Harry can’t be bothered to assess. 

He decides against plugging the microphone in and screaming into it because Louis would kill him. He walks back to the side of Jasper’s bed and looks down at his sleeping figure, smirking immediately when he sees Jasper quickly poke his head out the duvet before realizing that Harry’s standing right above him. 

“Jas, I swear to the heavens that if you don’t wake up this very instant I will do something you’ll hate me for.” 

Jasper’s reaction is almost immediate and instead of his reaction being him scrambling out of bed, it’s him laughing. He lifts his head out from underneath the duvets and squints up at Harry, natural red lips spread into a disbelieving grin. 

Cute, Harry thinks watching as Jasper continues to laugh, he really does think Harry’s joke and it’s adorable. 

“Cool, okay, fine.” Harry pouts, sighing over dramatically and shrugging his shoulders. “Suit yourself.” 

Before either of them can even blink, Harry is jumping up into the hair and landing back down on Jasper, who shouts and thrashes around until Harry’s lying on the floor, laughing. 

“What the bloody hell?!” Jasper shouts, face red and eyes on fire. His unruly curls have been tied back into a ponytail but a few strands are dangling in front of his eyes. “What on earth are you trying to do!?”

(On the 4th of April, Jasper Knox Tomlinson-Styles skyrocketed into this world as if it belonged to him at just the age of eight minutes old. Now he’s fifteen-years-old and still continues to live his life like he’s got the entire world sitting in the palms of his hands- and maybe it does, Harry wouldn’t be surprised if it did because his boy is so fierce, so driven, so passionate about everything he loves and really compassionate if you squint hard enough.) 

Harry gets up and rolls his eyes. “I did tell you so, did I not?” He smiles smugly and doesn’t bother hiding his amusement as he watches Jasper huff and puff. “Now shush. Get up and get ready. You’ve got school.”

“There’s no such thing as school in the world of rock ’n’ roll.” Jasper grumbles, pouting and crossing his arms over his chest. Harry can’t help but burst into laughter because this boy is so ridiculous and he loves him so much. 

(Harry remembers being exactly like him when he’d been that young- minus the attitude though, that’s Louis of course.)

It doesn’t take long for Jasper to start laughing with him. He pulls himself up and sits so that his long legs are dangling off the side of the bed. Harry watches his movements, flicks the little strands of hair in his face back when Jasper does. 

When Jasper glances up at him, eyes tired and a hazy green, they smile at each other faintly. 

“Summer’s over bud,” 

“Yeah,” Jasper murmurs, shoulders slumping, “I know.” His eyes cast down to his feet before coming back up to meet Harry’s gaze and it’s as if Harry’s looking at himself when he’d still been fifteen and on the edge of exploding with all the dreams he’d had and is living now. 

Harry wants to tell Jasper that things get better and that being fifteen isn’t all there is to life. He wants to tell him that growing up sucks as much as people say it does but there are so many aspects to growing up that make everything that happens- whether good of downright awful- so fucking worth it. 

He wants to say all of this but he won’t because then he’ll just spoil the fun and Jasper constantly craves an adventure. He’ll figure it out on his own. 

One big difference Harry’s taken note of between him at the age of fifteen and Jasper now is much more out of control Jasper is now, and as a person, than he’d been and is. It’s inspiring to watch the way Jasper lives his life because he lives his life not pretending to be anything other than who he knows of himself as- which is this wild, highly intelligent, confident, brave, impulsive, ambitious, carefree, reckless and reckless teenage God. He’s in touch with himself in a way that Harry can’t remember being at his age and he’s so grateful that Jasper is as happy and free-spirited then he’d been as a teenager.

“If you tell yourself today will be awful than it will and who ever wants to live through a shitty as fuck day?

Jasper lets out a low chortle and smiles, dimples revealing themselves on his rosy cheeks. “I love you pops, y’know that right?” Harry nods his head and gives Jasper a look that makes him roll his eyes. “Calm your ego down, please. I’m trying to show some emotion. Anyway, as I was saying, I don’t tell you and dad this often but I think you guys are the greatest people I’ll ever know and- oh my god,” Jasper pauses and cringes into himself when Harry pulls him up to crush all his bones in a hug. He struggles against Harry and when he gives up, he grunts lowly into the back of his throat. “Okay, cool, whatever, I just wanted to like tell you that.” 

Jasper’s quiet for a few seconds before he opens his mouth and takes a large breathe. Harry’s still not let go of him. “I wanted to say more but I can’t breathe and I’m uncomfortable now at all this affection. It’s too early for this, let me go, I need to get to school, I need to breat-“ 

“-Shut up, bloody hell.” Harry cuts him off, loosening his grip and pressing his lips against Jasper’s hairline. Jasper lets out a little laugh and shrugs his shoulders. “Thank you. I love you so much, even though you’re most probably the most annoying person I know after your dad, but don’t tell him that.” 

They laugh softly together and when it begins to die down, Jasper whispers; “We both know I’ll tell him.” Harry rolls his eyes and licks Jasper’s forehead, completely disregarding all the complaints that fell like shooting stars out of Jasper’s mouth. 

“You’re going to do such amazing things Jasper.” Harry tells him once he’s shut up. The sun’s coming up even more and the room seems a whole brighter than when he’d come in. It’s getting closer and closer till everyone’s got to go and he knows he’s wasting a lot of time by conversing with each child he wakes up when he could be waking up the others or, even downstairs by now making breakfast, but his little people are pretty damn spectacular and being late has never hurt anybody. “And I’m not saying that you’re not doing amazing things right now because you are. You’re going to shine as bright as anything in our galaxy Jas. Be patient. The universe works with you and once you think positively about your life, then everything will fall into place. You’ll kick life’s ass whilst kicking school’s ass. Be good to yourself Jas. And I don’t want you to think I’m speaking absolute shit to but I can’t not tell you this, I n-“

“You’re not speaking shit.” Jasper cuts him off, shaking his head. “It doesn’t.” 

“Get shit done and make things happen. Okay? Get shit done and making things happen because you can, I know you can and you’ve got to believe you can do everything in order to do everything.” Harry nods his head slowly, eyebrows furrowing in thought. “It’s like, when I was young, I was shit. I believed I was shit and I believed everything around me was shit, which fucked everything up for me. I wish someone told me what I was telling you now when I was your age, or even before that. You need to give a fuck. You need to literally give a fuck about everything that matters to you without caring what other people will say or do to you. High school was horrible Jasper. For me. And I don’t want high school to be the same experience for me as it was for you. How you view things is how they become so think of your life is something spectacular and that’s what it’ll become- spectacular. 

Care about school and your friends and yourself. Care about what you want, what you love, what loves you, what makes you feel infinite. Forget what hurts you. Get rid of the mentality that nothing is ever going to be okay or that not caring is cooler than caring or whatever. Like, I want you to give a fuck and I want you to want to be unapologetically you while doing so. And I know people say caring hurts and I’m not going to lie to you and tell you it doesn’t because it does but that doesn’t mean it can’t not suck sometimes. Feeling shit is beautiful and painful. Feeling emotions to their full capacity is frightening but it shapes you and molds you and helps you figure everything out about yourself and everything around you a little bit more every single day…”

Holding his first-born son tighter to his chest, Harry closes his eyes and remembers, in vivid colour, everything he’s ever survived through that’s changed the direction of his life. He thinks of all the good memories and the bad memories, and feels the overwhelming amount of joy and sadness he’d felt back then, in those moments. They shoot through his veins in heroine and his chest clogs up the way it did then- the way it is now. 

Harry can still remember being 21 and so proud of himself because he’d finally allowed himself to feel everything all the time in large quantities without a shame. He remembers his soul looking at him straight in the eyes and sighing from relief because finally (finally!!!) he was going to know how to live a life with freedom seeping out every pore of his body.

His soul had looked him in the eyes, for the first time in so long, and screamed, “YES!!!” And Harry had finally been brave enough to look at his soul back, with unwavering courage, and scream “YES!!!” back, just as loud. 

“I just-shit…Jas, I want you to say yes with everything with nothing but bravery in your heart and soul. And I also want you to know that I love you so much- with everything I’ve got inside this body to love you with. “

Seconds pass in silence and in the moments that come and go, they just breathe. Jasper wraps his arms around Harry’s waist and hugs him back. 

“I love you too.” 

It’s hard to think of how he’s even made this far in his life when he never thought he would. There had been days, weeks- months- when he’d felt so empty and so down that it had seemed almost impossible to ever come back from that feeling. Some days it hurts, even to this day, and everything he thinks about those memories and closes his eyes he can still feel all the pain he’d endured- like his heart was too fucking large for his chest or there were hands wrapped around his neck, holding him tightly- cutting off his oxygen supply. 

And it’s hard to just forget that sometimes, all that emptiness and confusion. 

Harry can still remember crying so deeply that it had felt as though all the bones in his body would just shatter into tiny little pieces- like his lungs were made of the same material as balloons and that in any moment they’d just pop, like his heart would, from all the feelings that were being felt all at once- feelings that had never been felt that much ever before because he never allowed himself to. 

There were days when he’d fight with himself for having turned himself inside out and laid his entire body on the floor, bare, for everyone to see and touch because he’d never be able to force his body to be the way it used to be- to function the way it used to function- without hurting himself and everyone else around him. He didn’t want to forget and if he had picked up his healing heart off of the floor he’d laid it on only to shove it back into his chest, his life would go back to what it had been before and he didn’t want that for anyone. 

There were days when he’d wanted to die. He’d never expected it to feel the way it did- it does. Despite everything he’s still here and he’s so grateful. 

“I…thank you.” Jasper speaks, voice less hoarse but more quiet. He takes a deep breath in and takes a deep breathe out before pulling himself out of Harry’s embrace. “That helped.” He tells him, green eyes gleaming in the light. Life is so beautiful, Harry thinks to himself as he watches his son blink at him with a sheepish smile on his lips. “’M sorry I’m being a bit awkward, but yeah…” 

Harry smiles. His hands slip into the pockets of his sweatpants and when Jasper lets out a hushed chuckle, Harry does as well. 

“You’re being a bit awkward.” 

Jasper rolls his eyes without any heat behind it and laughs. “Go wake up all three hundred of your children. I love you. Remember that old man.” 

Harry kisses his forehead- “I love you too bud. I love you so much,”-and watches him walk into his en-suite bathroom. When he hears the show turn on, he leaves Jasper’s room and closes the door behind him. The bedroom door diagonal to Jasper’s is Margaret’s. He walks across the hallway and pauses a little bit to relish in the warm rays of the pale yellow sunlight pouring in, in buckets, through the windows along the walls. (The entire house has been lit up and Harry feels warm all over- from the inside to the outside of his body)

Once he’s standing in front of Margaret’s bedroom door, he knocks softly and opens when he hears a faint; “come in,” from the other side of the door. 

He’s shocked to find Margaret already awake, sitting up cross-legged on her bed. Along with the soft blotches of sunlight on the walls, and ceiling, the faint rainbow passing right across her face and the complete disarray of her hair as well as subtle glow of her golden skin, Margaret looks absolutely break taking. 

When she looks up and meets his gaze, she gives him a closed-mouth smile and the corners of her eyes crinkle the same way Louis’ does. Harry’s in awe of her, the same way he always is, every time and ever day that he catches even the tiniest glimpse of her he is in awe. 

“You and Jas woke me up,” she tells him, wetting her lips and closing the book that had been open on her lap. “I was angry, I wanted to be angry when you came in to wake me up but you took long and  
I’m okay. I’m not angry anymore, incase you’re still wondering.” 

(Margaret Ora Tomlinson-Styles was born on the 29th of December, right at the end of the year. There are never enough words to describe everything that Margaret it. Right next to Louis, Harry regards her as the second most strongest, honest and down-to-earth soul he’ll ever know. He’s so excited to continue to watch her unfold and crack even deeper into herself. 

Margaret wants to change the world and Harry believes she will because she believes she will.)

She blinks twice and yawns, hand coming up to cup her mouth. When she’s done, she widens are eyes and runs her hand through her tangled hair. 

(Margaret’s eyes are usually this magnificent deep sea blue that often change with the weather. Right now, they’re this hazy turquoise blue that are hard to look away from.) 

“Your eyes are very blue this morning.” He tells her, right after greeting her with a “Morning honey,” that got her smiling even bigger- teeth showing and eye’s crinkling at the corners even more. Harry’s heart feels so full of love that it might just explode any minute from now, but doesn’t. Thank God. Imagine that. 

She laughs quietly, rubbing at her left eye before saying; “they’re always at their brightest in the morning.”

Harry moves and sits down next to her, placing is hand on her knee when she rests her head on his shoulder. “Ready for school?” he asks her teasingly, patting her knee. She laughs sarcastically and lifts her head up to look at him before shoving him back roughly. 

“Can you not? Honestly.” She grumbles, attempting to feign annoyance but failing miserably when a smile forces itself onto her lips. “Ugh.” 

“Tell me about it.” 

Margaret laughs out loud, out of the blue and from her gut. It’s hard to forget sometimes that she isn’t the same person she was when she’d been three years old. She’s seventeen now and her eyes are still as deep, and as blue, as Harry remembers them being, and the same chestnut hair but now fall past her shoulders and stop right above her waist in tousled waves. 

She’s the eldest out of all five children and it’s beautiful to watch her grow into this powerful, outspoken young woman who refuses to be unheard.

(And, like, Harry sort of gets what Louis was moaning on about this morning about wanting their children to stay young forever because it’s scary. It really, truly, honestly is. And Harry dreads the day when they’ll all leave this home Louis and Harry had built for them, in order to kick-start their own wonderful, bright lives on their own, without them. 

It’s hard to imagine this home without any one of them- without Margaret arguing and getting worked up about all the injustices being faced by women, people of colour, people in the lgbtq+ community-etc.- Or Jasper’s loud music shaking the entire house, or Indigo and Sage causing havoc as thee ultimate dream team and harassing everyone in the house, as well as causing a specific type of stress Harry cannot even begin to describe, or Waverly- his sweet, beautiful Waverly- who belts out notes and sings songs she doesn’t know how to pronounce the words to any chance she can.

It’s hard to imagine that one day, it’ll just be the two of them- Louis and him- in this house they built for their children. They’d probably move into a smaller home, or apartment, but Harry doesn’t think he’ll ever want to put this house on sale. No way.)

(Harry doesn’t want this to change but he knows it has to and he can’t do anything about it so he takes everyday as it comes and never forgets to feel as much as love as he can.)

“I don’t want to go back at all.” She blurts out suddenly, sighing dramatically. “Can’t I stay home for just one for day? I’m clean and you won’t even seen me.” She rambles softly, tapping her fingers anxiously against her knee. It’s a habit she’s always had. When Harry laughs softly at her suggestion, she frowns ever more and whines loudly before pressing her body even closer to his. She turns her head so that she’s resting her forehead on Harry’s shoulders. “I don’t want summer to end, not now …” she says, “not when everything felt like it was all falling into place.” 

Harry wraps his arm around her shoulders and she curls into him, preening softly when he pulls her closer so that her face is buried in the crook of his neck. 

She huffs against his neck and tries to wriggle out the embrace. “You’re squishing me papa.” 

“Yeah, I know, but I’m squishing you with love!”

Margaret groans loudly and falls back against her bed the second Harry releases his grip on her. She sits up shortly afterwards and looks at Harry with disgust and just a hint of amusement.

“You’re so cringe.” She tells him bluntly, face still curled up in the same snarl Louis makes when he’s unimpressed at someone. “You need to get of here.”

“And if I don’t want to? It’s like you can pick me up and throw me out, who would cook?” Harry asks her, tone condescending and eyes wide. “Hahahaha.” `He says in mock laughter, lips pursed and puckered.

Margaret doesn’t hold back her grin. It comes out of nowhere and it comes fast. She leans closer to him and wraps her arms around his shoulders, pulling him for a hug that he doesn’t hesitate with reciprocating. 

No matter how old she gets, she’ll always be his little girl. 

After a few short seconds, Margaret pulls out of the hug abruptly and drops onto her back. She grabs the nearest pillow around her and brings it to her face. She presses the pillow against her face and doesn’t waste into seconds before she starts to scream inside of it, legs thrashing against the mattress. 

Harry watches her, face screwed up in utter confusion and shock. He’d stop her but a part of him knows that probably wouldn’t be a good decision. 

“Ugh!” she shrieks, throwing the pillow she’d just screamed her life into across the room. Harry glances at the pillow and then back at her- at her flushed face, and even more messy hair. Her eyes are this wild mix of all these different shades of blue and if there is any symbolism behind that, Harry gets it- he really does. “I hate my life.” She cries out, throwing her arms around and being overly dramatic in a way that could’ve only been taught by Louis. 

“No you don’t.” Harry tells her, rolling his eyes at her, lips curved up into a little smile. She hits him hard on his bicep, taking him off guard. He makes sure he doesn’t flinch though, because that’s what she wants and fuck, it really does hurt but he’s learnt a lot from the past 28 years he’s spent loving Louis and raising five other human beings somewhere in between. 

They stare at each other competitively for a brief moment before Margaret rolls her eyes, sighs and breaks the silence by saying; “I’m just being your ordinary teenager papa!” She explains, sighing as if she’s had to explain the same sum to him ten times and he still didn’t understand. “No but seriously, you and dad are constantly complaining about how much time I spend reading and painting. Yesterday dad, and Jasper, like really? Ugh anyways, useless twat-“ 

“-Margo!” Harry exclaims, eyes wide in shock. He laughs even though he isn’t supposed to because what Margaret’s just said about her brother is horrible, but wow- he just never expected that. “You can’t say that about your brother in front of me. Like maybe your friends or the twins if you’re that desperate b-“

Margaret sighs loud enough that it shuts him up. She rubs at her eyes again before continuing with what she had been saying before. “Anyways, Dad and my dearest little brother Jasper had the audacity to tell me I was getting too big for my boots. What does that even mean?” She asks him, emphasizing on the ‘mean’. She takes a deep breath in, as if she were about to announce some big news to the world, or something. “Anyways,” she starts off suddenly, “I’m trying to be cool and hip like all the other kids my age and you choose now to be all sentimental and parent-ish. Just let me live.” 

Harry tackles her into a hug, which she doesn’t try and fight against- surprisingly. He holds her tight and breathes her scent in. She smells like home and all love the love in the world.

“You’re perfect-“

“-Please,” she pleads, desperately trying to wriggle her way out of Harry’s arms. “Don’t sing that song.” 

“-Just the way you are!” 

When the note Harry was singing dies down, he finally releases her and she laughs even louder than she’d been while he’d been holding the note. “You’re such a parent.” She scoffs, rolling her eyes playfully. Her smile is wide enough that is creates those little crinkles at the corners of her eyes- (just like Louis because everything about her is identical to Louis)-“You’re so cringe.” She tells him as she gets up from bed. She stretches her body and yawns at the same time, hand not bothering to cover up her mouth. “That song was released such a long time ago-decades ago.”

Harry feigns offence (he is a little offended to be honest, he’s not that old.) and stands up to shove her gently. Before she can stumble back, he catches her and presses his lips to her forehead.

“Can you calm down? That song was released when you were still alive and since you’re practically fresh out the womb, that song is still as new as it ever was.” He mumbles against her forehead, rocking them from side to side. “Anyways you brat, I’ve got to wake up Wave.”

Margaret sighs loudly and shows him to the door, opening it and leaning up to press two kisses on each of his cheeks. “Before you tell me you love me, I must tell you that I love you just as much- unfortunately. However, you need to leave now.” 

There isn’t much time for Harry to reply before he’s being thrown out the room. The door closes right in front of his face and he wants to scream because of how annoyed he is. Margaret is as infuriating as all his other kids are. The only child who shares the same similarities as he does is Sage and Waverly, and even that might change as long as Louis’ around, which he’ll always be. 

Despite those two, everyone else in this home clearly spends too much time with Louis. Jasper, Margaret and Indigo are stubborn, loud and share a similar sense of pride that could swallow you whole.

Harry drags his feet across the hallway and can almost hear the distant sound of Louis’ voice snapping at him to lift his feet. Opposite Margaret is Waverly. Her door is white with splatters of blue paint everywhere and Waverly’s nickname, ‘Wave’ painted across it, right at the center, in a beautiful mixture of dark blue and turquoise. 

Too many seconds pass by with Harry just standing outside the door. When he finally opens her door, his eyes automatically land on the gigantic mural of the ocean and the universe Margaret painted just before Waverly was born, with the help of Zayn. 

It is so beautiful, so hard to ignore. There is never enough oxygen in the room to breathe every time his eyes look at it and he’s in this room everyday so everyday is a struggle. 

On the bed, awake and grinning, Waverly’s already looking back at him when his head turns to face her. 

“Hey puppy,” she drawls, voice thick and sweet with sleep. “I wait for you.” She tells him, rubbing her eyes and huffing when Harry swats her hand away like he always does when he catches her rubbing her eyes. She drops her hand and looks back up at him, blinking her eyes languidly three times before breaking out into a grin again, for no absolute reason. 

There is bright, warm sunlight spilling onto her and lighting up half of her face. There is love pouring out of every pore on her little body. Harry is certain that she’s the most delicate, fragile, most soft and beautiful soul living and existing on this earth. 

“You’re always waiting for me sunshine,” he coos softly, heartbeat increasing at the sound of her giggling. She moves so that she’s lying on her stomach and stares up at him with big, cat-like eyes that are framed with thick, long eyelashes that brush against her cherubic cheeks every time she blinks. 

He crouches down beside her bed, right in front of where she’s beginning to doze off again, and places his large hand on her lower back, squeezing her there gently in order to catch her attention and keep her awake. 

“You’re my favourite angel,” he tells her, mouth pressed against her scalp and voice muffled by all her hair. “The most beautiful, kind and bright angel there is in the world.” 

Waverly gazes up at him and lets a large yawn that leaves her frowning once it’s over. She huffs quietly before pushing herself up, moving forward and wrapping her arms around Harry’s neck, which is also the same place she nuzzles her face in shortly afterwards. 

“Thank you.” She replies, smiling into the crook of his neck. The brush of her eyelashes against his highly ticklish skin there has him chewing on his lip to stop himself from letting out a sudden burst of laughter. 

She says nothing when he lifts her up, she just wraps her legs around his torso and tightens are arms around his neck. 

“I’m your angel.” She murmurs as Harry begins to sway them from left to right, gently in the sunlight. They are beautiful together, as one. “And daddy’s. He even tells me I’m an angel too.”

‘’Tells me love, not tell.” 

“Hmm.” Is the only reply he gets, which is- okay. 

(Waverly Blue Tomlinson-Styles was born right in the heart of autumn, at 12:54 in the morning on the 17th of November. She was born with her umbilical chord wrapped around her neck and she had been an alarming shade of pale blue that neither Harry nor Louis had seen on a human being before. Despite that, Louis had looked at her- all bloody and blue and gory- and thought she was the most beautiful person on earth. 

After all the panic that arrived shortly after her birth, the doctors finally untangled the umbilical chord around her neck and got her to breath properly, by herself. The feeling Harry had felt after being told that his little girl was okay is a feeling that he can’t erase out of his memory- doesn’t want to. 

When Louis was finally discharged and they were able to take Waverly home, everybody- even the twins who were 3- circled around her crib and stared at her because she had been, and still continues to be, so beautiful. 

Jasper suggested the name Waverly because it means: from the quaking aspen tree meadow, and somehow it just fit. Louis chose her second name, Blue, and not just because she had been blue when she was born, but because of the oceanic hues and swirls of blue that can be found in her big, big eyes. )

As these memories flash through Harry’s mind, he takes Waverly to go have a bath and listens to her chatter about the new day. 

She exclaims; “Daddy! Look at the soon! Look how pretty it shine!” 

She is looking out the large mirror next to her bathtub, finger pressed against the glass, pointing towards the sun as if she’s about to scold it. 

Harry grabs a fluffy towel from the rack and wraps it around her. “I can see it baby,” he tells her, lifting her out and holding her up so that they’re both looking out the window, at the entire city of London and everything after that. “It’s shining just for you Wave. Everything shines just for you.” 

***

Once Waverly is dressed in a lemon-yellow summer dress with bold black outlines of sunflowers sprawled all over it, Harry quickly rushes to the kitchen to pack up everyone’s lunch with Waverly plastered on his side.

She talks to him about everything there is to talk about in life and he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t lost track of time ages ago. He doesn’t want her to stop telling him stuff though. He doesn’t mind her constant chattering, just as long as she’s with him.

Breaking the calming atmosphere that Harry had found in the kitchen, Sage stampedes past him with a panicked look on his face. His eyes are wide and shortly after he runs in, Indigo strolls in, arms crossed over her chest. Her facial expression is anything but impressed and she rolls her eyes before Sage even starts to speak. 

“Papa! Indie keeps pulling my hair and it hurts!” He practically shouts, scurrying over to Harry and wrapping his arms around his one leg, pressing his face against his thigh. 

Harry rakes his fingers through the mess of curls on Sage’s head and meets his gaze when Sage looks up at him, frowning with eyes so green they’re hard to look away from and cheeks a faint tint of pink. 

Indigo snorts and looks up from her nails that Louis painted a soft lilac two nights ago. Sage’s nails are a vivid mix of blue and bright purple that he insisted Louis use. The two of them have been completely mesmerized by how lovely they look. 

“Daddy once told Jasper when he was being … Jasper that life hurts and that it what I’m trying to teach you.” Indigo explains to him, hands dramatically moving all over the place before running down the side of the frilly princess gown Niall bought her this year on their sixth birthday. “I’m just preparing you for life.”

What on earth does Indigo know about life? She’s only six. 

Harry furrows his eyebrows and parts his lips to say something, but is cut off by the sight of Louis shuffling into the kitchen in just a pair of boxers and a top he nicked off of Harry years ago, hanging off of his shoulder. The entire kitchen is bathed in sunlight. When Louis flickers his gaze up to meet his, Harry’s sure that there’s nothing in the galaxy that shines brighter than Louis. He shines brighter than anything. 

He smiles at him quickly before dropping his head down to look at Indigo. “Stop pulling Sage’s hair.” Louis demands, quickly adding a “please” because the chances of Indigo listening to anyone when they say please is higher than if they don’t. He coughs twice before clearing his throat and eyeing Indigo and Sage’s choice of clothing. He shakes his head and Indigo groans immediately. “You are not wearing those ridiculous costumes. Go upstairs and change before you’re late for your first day back at school. And, while you’re upstairs, check on Jas and Margo to see whether or not they’re ready.” 

His voice is still hoarse from sleep. Indigo rolls her eyes and crosses her arms over her chest, jutting her hip and narrowing her eyes at Louis. “Why?” she demands, amazing Harry at how alike she is to Louis. He doesn’t mean to laugh out loud but he really can’t help it. 

Louis’ eyes drop to focus on the cutlery he’s taking out and as he butters a slice of plain bread, a faint smile creeps on his face. He doesn’t bring his gaze up to look at Indigo. However, he does shake his head because dammit, these children really do spend too much time with him. 

“Because I said so.” He tells her, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly. “I am your parent and what I tell you to do, you do, okay? So I suggest that you do as I say and go upstairs to change as well as wake up both your brother and your sister otherwise I will, and trust me Indigo, throw out everything you own.” 

By the time Louis looks up, she’s already scampering off with Sage hot on her tail. 

When they’re out of sight, Louis turns around and locks gazes with Harry, smiling faintly. He’s so beautiful, even like this- with his hair all over the place and his eyes still glazed with sleep. 

“We need to sort out our kids.” 

Harry snorts and takes a sip of his tea. “Margo, Jas and Indie are all your fault. “ He says, chewing on his bottom lip to keep from smiling. “Especially Jas.”

Even to this day Harry still feels too much of everything all the time and over the years he’s grown to accept that, that, is just who he is. He feels a lot and he feels a lot all the time. Just looking at Louis right now, head tilted back and entire body shaking with the laughter falling from his mouth, he is feeling too much of everything and it’s cool. There is nothing wrong with him. He’s got nothing to be ashamed of. Louis taught him that and he hasn’t forgotten since. He’s got nothing to be ashamed of. 

(When Louis laughs it’s like getting lost in a big, beautiful city. Or like falling asleep under the sun during those long hazy August days. 

Harry loves him. He loves him so much.)

In this early morning sunlight he’s being bathed in, Harry’s been blessed with the sight of an angel and he’s standing right in front of him with half of his face streaked with sunlight and eyes that look like crystal clear lakes. 

For Harry to describe Louis’ eyes, as just blue would be the same as him saying the sun is just yellow. It’s a sufficient amount of information but not accurate enough to capture the burning. 

“Blue and Sage are your problems then, yeah?” 

Harry snickers. “I’m a wimp so shame for them.”

Louis laughs again and this time it’s like falling asleep to the sound of the ocean or rain falling onto your window. It’s slow and raspy and honest- so, so, so honest. He shakes his head and blinks at him once, then twice, before saying: “Don’t underestimate our children or yourself. You hold all the love in the world in your heart and I, for one, think that’s the bravest fucking thing in the world.” He searches for something in Harry’s eyes and smiles when Harry does. “You’re the bravest person I know. This life that we have together is amazing and I owe that all to you and the way you love me.”

Harry blushes and his head falls back, smile so large his face might split in his half. When he looks at Louis, he’s standing much closer and his eyes are trained on his lips. 

“You’re so beautiful.” Louis murmurs as he traces the edge of his jawline with his thumb before swiping it across his chapped lip, still swollen from sleep.

Yeah. This is it. Louis’ all Harry’s ever going to want and all he’s ever wanted, and Harry’s so fine with spending the rest of his blimming life with him. And what makes his life even better is that Louis’ right here, in front of him, beautiful as ever, glowing and basking in this glorious sunlight. He hums softly under his breath, eyes fluttering. Louis’ hands always feel so nice against his skin. The tiny sound Louis makes when Harry’s hands creep up his top to rest against the dip of his lower back shoots a spark of arousal up his spine and he’s got to remind himself that their youngest child is still in the room with them. 

“You gonna kiss me any time soon or?” 

Louis’ lips quirk up into a little smirk and his eyes burn holes through Harry’s but he doesn’t look away, hasn’t been able to since their gazes first met. 

(It’s blue versus green- one man versus the sun.)

They meet each other half way and Louis’ hands move to frame Harry’s face. There are no words to describe kissing Louis. 

“You taste like everything I’ve ever wanted.” Harry mumbles into the kiss and he chortles when Louis groans, kissing him harder. 

“Shu’ up please.” 

(When they first kissed each other, back when they were young and electric, Harry told Louis that his lips tasted like strawberry ice-cream and Louis, no lie, laughed at him for four consecutive days.)

“Stop it! Don’t do that!” Waverly screeches abruptly, voice trailing off onto a little whine. Louis pulls his lips away from Harry’s and they both catch her in time as she hides her eyes behind two small hands, feet banging against the kitchen cupboards. 

Louis laughs closed mouth and presses his lips against Harry’s again, quickly, and smiles into the short kiss they share before he stops to turn around and press his back against Harry’s chest. Wrapping his arms around Louis’ waist, Harry presses his mouth against the visible patch of skin on his shoulders due to the oversized top he’s wearing sliding off of his shoulder. 

The pretty four-year-old huffs and continues to eat her cereal- (the same cereal Harry once tried to feed her but almost lost his hearing of because of that.). Her thick brown hair has been plaited into two French plaits and her baby blue pumps match her baby blue eyes. 

(Back when they’d first brought her home Harry had whispered, “she’s so little” because talking any louder seemed inappropriate in such a fragile moment. Louis had nodded, not taking his eyes off their little girl, who’d been wrapped up in a pink blanket asleep. Louis had squeezed the hand he’d been holding because holy fuck- that had been it, their little girl was so little and she had been right in front of them, more beautiful than anything in the world despite coming out blue like the sky and being in an incubator. 

“Yeah.” Louis had whispered back. “Our little Blue.”)

It’s been four years since then and Louis’ taking her hands in his, face so close to hers that her eyes are going cross eyed. “Sorry my love.” He coos, leaning forward to give her an Eskimo kiss to which she laughs at. “I promise to never kiss papa again.”

“In front of me.” 

Raising his eyebrows, Louis nods his head slowly and chuckles. “Yes Blue, in front of you.”

She grins and at the same time, Jasper waltzes in wearing his school uniform with his backpack slung over his shoulders. 

“Jas,” 

He turns his head to face Louis and raises once eyebrow. “Yeah?”  
“Why are you wearing two ties around your wrists?” 

Jasper shrugs his shoulders and smirks. “Why aren’t you?”

Louis sighs and nods his head like he understands but he doesn’t. Despite that he laughs loudly. “Okay, cool, whatever.” He quickly looks down at Waverly who’s busy playing with the gold back around his finger before meeting Jasper’s gaze again. “Anyway,” he says, smiling, “morning mate.” 

Jasper laughs and it’s slow, and deep like Harry’s. “Morning dad.” He greets before flickering his eyes to Waverly and grinning, “morning Wave.” 

“Morning Jassy!” she chirps, voice filled with excitement at the sight of her older brother. Jasper smiles at her, eyes glinting under the light. He sits on the kitchen stool nearest to Waverly and looks at her for a solid three minutes, admiring the beauty that she radiates, before grabbing some cereal and pouring an unnatural amount into a bowl. Harry tries not to scowl as he drowns it all in almond milk and spills some on the marble counter. 

“Wave?” 

“Hmmm?” 

“Daddy’s lying to you,” Jasper tells her making both Harry and Louis groan out loud, immediately. “No, seriously, don’t believe anything they say.” 

Annoyed, Harry huffs. “Can you stop? Honestly Jasper, you’re so irritating. Just because that Julia girl ended it with you after a week- a bloody WEEK- of dating-“

“-We were fooling around, not dating, but thank you for trying.” Jasper cuts him off, correcting him. Harry wants to remind him that he’s only fifteen years old and that they aren’t friends but he’s so tired and honestly, what would that even do? It’s not as if Jasper listens to anyone else beside himself. 

“Do I care?” Harry snaps, shutting him up. 

Jasper raises both his eyebrows at Harry before snickering and shoving a spoon full of cereal into his mouth. “Do I?” he mutters, loud enough for everyone to hear. 

Louis laughs out loud, forehead falling onto Waverly’s shoulder. They’re dancing around the kitchen, moves off beat to the quiet guitar tunes coming out through the radio in the kitchen and Waverly is sitting on his hips, giggling. 

“You really are my fault.” He tells Jasper, pressing a kiss to his forehead when he moves past him. When he gets to Harry, he leans up and kisses him quickly, ignoring Jasper’s protests. Luckily for them, Waverly’s too engrossed with Louis’ hair to say anything about Louis breaking his promise to her. “I’m sorry.” 

Harry rolls his eyes playfully and wraps his arms around Louis and Waverly’s body, pulling them close to him. “I love you.” 

“Papa! I love you! Love! Love!” She exclaims excitedly, looking up at both Harry and Louis with bright eyes. “Love is good, right Jasper?” She asks, turning her head to look at him. 

Harry watches the way Louis watches Waverly and he swears nothing on this earth is more beautiful than his big, big family. 

(His heart aches. In a good way though, always in a good way.) 

Jasper laughs, swallows his food, and says: “Yeah Wave, love is always good.” He’s glowing. He runs his fingers through his thick curls and grins at his youngest sister. 

(Jasper’s hair is out of control. A lot more out of control than Harry’s hair was. Today, he’s wearing a lemon yellow bandana to hold back all his curls and the colour brings out the golden specks in his eyes as well as the natural red tint of his cheeks. 

To be honest, Harry’s pretty fucking proud at how cool his kids are.)

Waverly laughs, loud and high-pitched. The entire world shakes at the sound of it. “I’m an angel Jas! Daddy told me that the sun shone just for me.” 

“He’s right baby,” Louis rasps, holding her up higher so that the sun is shining directly onto her. He spins her around and around, sunlight covering every inch of her little body and god- she really is so beautiful, their own light provider. “Look at it Blue!” Louis tells her, bringing her back to his chest and pointing at the sun through the window. “Look at it shine just for you.”

*

The twins come barreling in moments later, dressed in colour-coordinated items of clothing that Indigo had to have chosen. They’re shouting and giggling, bringing electric energy into the once quiet and calm kitchen. 

They scramble onto the chairs, still too short to be able to get on without help but they’re stubborn- just like their fathers. Once they’re seated comfortably, they look at their fathers and grin so brightly it hurts to look.

“God Hazza,” Louis sighs, craning his neck up to look at Harry. He’s smiling and his eyes are glowing with amusement. “Look at their hair,” he says, “look at their eyes.” 

And, like, Harry totally gets it. He gets it all. Sage and Indigo are all blonde curls and deep dimples. Their eyes are bright and electric- they radiate energy and life. It’s amazing to watch them. Harry’s amazed by them and how beautiful they are, how wonderful they were, are and will be. 

“Jasper’s also got curly hair.” Indigo cuts in, leaning on the kitchen counter so suddenly that all her hair falls in front of her face. She’s grinning. Her cheeks grow even redder when Louis presses a kiss to her cheeks. “And Sage and Papa. Even Margo, not like ours though. And, and, uh, Sage’s eyes aren’t brown like mine-“ 

Sage groans and shoves her gently. “We know all of that Indie.” He whines, huffing dramatically. 

“Yeah,” Jasper laughs. 

Unfazed, Indigo continues. “But Jasper’s got more curls than all of us!” She exclaims, pointing her finger at him and almost poking his eye out. Jasper’s smile falls off his face and he grabs Indigo’s hand quickly before she’s able to pull away. It looks as if he’s swallowed her entire hand. 

Indigo points this out and Louis laughs, shaking his head. She’s giggling and squirming in her seat, teeth latched onto her bottom lip. 

“Don’t point your finger at me Indigo. It’s not nice.” Jasper scolds. 

She bats her eyelashes at him and grins even wider, showing off her two front teeth that fell out last week. “Okay,” she says, “but you haven’t said morning to me yet. Are you going to? Must I annoy you more?” 

When Jasper laughs, his entire body shakes with it. Harry’s still a little confused as to why there are two ties tied around his wrist but he doesn’t question it because it’s Jasper and Jasper can do anything. (There’s never a good enough explanation to why he does a lot of the things he does and Harry knows the answers going to go something like this; “It’s all in the name of Rock ‘n’ Roll mate.”)

“M’kay, I’m sorry love. Morning Indie.” He greets, kissing both of her cheeks before turning to his left where Sage’s sitting. “Morning Sage.” He greets, kissing him on the tip of his nose. 

They laugh together (they do everything together) and Sage exclaims “morning!” at the same time as indigo exclaims “morning to everyone!” 

Shortly afterwards, Margaret comes down and greets everyone with a small smile and hugs. She sits down next to Sage and wastes no time with eating. (“I’m so hungry” she moans, chewing on the slice of brown bread with almond butter and slices of banana she made for herself.) 

Breakfast in the Tomlinson-Styles household is never boring and everyone gets a little sad when it’s time for Jasper and Margaret to go. It gets ever sadder (and quieter) when Sage and Indigo’s bus comes to pick them up. However, everything falls apart for Louis, especially, when it’s time for Waverly to leave. Her crèche is not too far and when they drop her off, Louis crouches down on the ground and holds her tight to his chest, burrowing his head into the crook of her neck. 

“Have fun.” Louis tells her, rubbing her back. “And come back home to me. If you have any problems ask your teacher to call me-“

Waverly’s laugh cuts him off and she tangles her fingers through his hair. “Don’t be silly daddy!” she giggles, “I come home and I’ll be okay!”

Somehow, Harry manages to get Louis to stand up. He wraps his arm around Louis’ waist as they both watch their little girl run towards her classroom, spinning around quickly to give them one last wave and grin. 

Louis says; “I don’t want her to grow up.” He looks up and locks eyes with Harry. “I want her to stay young forever. I don’t know if I can do this again.” 

Harry sighs. “Me too baby,” he says as he presses a kiss against Louis’ head. “But it’s life, I guess.”

The drive back home is silent but comfortable and their hands are interlocked on Louis’ thigh. When they get back home, they stand on the front porch and soak up the rays of the sun- which is shining on them for them, warming them up and lighting them up at the same time. 

Harry looks at Louis and can’t help but admire how beautiful he truly is, especially right now, with his eyelashes creating shadows on his cheekbones and the faint flush spread across his cheeks as well as the bridge of his nose.

“Let’s watch a movie.” Harry suggests. “I’ll make us some tea and we can build a fort in the living, and talk.” 

Louis smiles and opens his eyes, narrowing them slightly because of the blazing light. “Just talking?” he asks cheekily as he flicks his fringe away from his eyes. 

(He’s got the type of eyes that reminds Harry of everything blue on this earth and he can’t imagine himself ever growing tired of how spectacular Louis is. He’s got to be the most beautiful human being in the whole universe.)

Harry smirks and pecks Louis’ lips quickly; pulse racing at the tiny gasp he lets out. “I can’t promise that and I won’t. A kids-free day shouldn’t be taken for granted my love.” 

Louis tips his head back and laughs loudly. “Okay! Sure.” He says, voice breathy and eyes hooded. “Why not?” he whispers as he pushes himself up onto his toes and pulls Harry into a passionate kiss neither of them had been expecting.

***

They meet when Harry was fifteen and Louis was turning eighteen. 

And then when Harry and nineteen and Louis was almost twenty-two, Harry confessed to Louis that he loved him after three years of dating and Louis’ reaction was to laugh so hard that he started to cry. He laughed for a whole ten minutes before he punched Harry on the arm and called him an idiot. 

(Jay told him not to worry. Louis’ weird like that, she said over the phone, he loves you. He’s just got his own weird way of showing it.)

They’re sitting under house made from the pillows and blankets in their room and Louis’ gaze is following the way his fingers dance across the pale skin on Harry’s upper back. 

Somewhere in between the kisses, stories and play fights they’re managed to sneak in a shower that they both really, really, REALLY enjoyed- so say the least. Now they’re here, lethargic and so in love. 

“Favourite childhood memory?” Louis asks, as if he doesn’t know already. 

Harry laughs. “I’ve told you this before Lou. You’ve made me tell you this story over and over again.”

“And?” He questions, shrugging his shoulders and playfully rolling his eyes. “I like it. It’s sweet.”

Harry pouts and Louis wants to kiss him till they run out of breath. 

“I’m tired Lou.” Harry murmurs, voice soft as he snuggles into Louis’ warm embrace. “I want to be with you all the time.” He slurs a bit. 

“I want you too, always.” 

“Mm,” Harry hums, “that’s good.” 

He tilts Louis’ head up and kisses him gently, hand cupping his cheek the way he knows he loves it. When they pull apart, Louis’ cheeks are a rosy red and he giggles under Harry’s gaze, flickering his gaze away from his and taking a sip of his tea that’s cold now. 

He looks back at Harry and Harry’s still looking at him, full lips tilted at the corners into a smirk that sends Louis’ heart into what feels like a cardiac arrest. 

“You stare at me an awful lot.” 

“Well, you’re awfully beautiful so…” 

Louis rolls his eyes as soon as soon as Harry’s said that. “Harry…” he whines, putting his tea down to cup his cheeks with his hands. “You’re a cheese ball, it’s so icky.”

“You love me.” Harry replies before he’s kissing him, not too slow but not to rush and fuck- he feels invincible, like he could tear apart the galaxy and build it back up again, which is so fucking crazy. Louis makes him feel invincible, Louis makes him crazy- he makes him feel like he could conquer the world, or even the universe and Harry loves him for that, loves him infinitely. “You love me so much and I love you just as much.” 

Louis snorts but the crimson red blush on his cheeks tells Harry he’s everything but unaffected. “You’re such an idiot.” He murmurs, flickering his gaze away from Harry’s.

How would’ve their lives turned out if they hadn’t met? If there was no Margaret, Jasper, Indigo, Sage, Waverly or even Pepper to brighten up his days the way they do now? It’s impossible to even try to imagine his life as anything else but the one he’s currently living.  
And like, Harry can’t exactly pinpoint when exactly all this happiness came flooding into his heart but he wouldn’t- couldn’t- wish for a better life because nothing’s as good as this life. He’s so happy. So genuinely stoked about life and everything after this. His life is full of light and love and positive energy, which is all he’s ever wanted. 

***

The entire neighbourhood has been painted in orange, hazy, light. 

Through the glare of the run, Harry squints up at the sky and thinks; ‘the sky’s never looked so blue.’

Half of Louis’ body is laying on top of him and he’s got his feet tangled with his, head resting on Harry’s shoulder. He’s shirtless and tired, judging by the yawns that leave his mouth every couple of minutes as he rambles on and on about everything. 

The gentle lulling of the hammock they’re resting on, in their back yard, is making it hard to stay awake. “D’you think she’s enjoying herself?” Harry asks all of a sudden, chewing on his bottom lip and keeping his eyes closed. “Wave, I mean.” 

Louis traces the swallow tattoo on his chest with his eyes closed and Harry can feel him smiling against his arm. 

“She’s a warrior, our girl. She’s so bright and so… fucking brave. And I know she’s okay.” Louis replies, rambling, struggling to find the words to continue. “I’m scared too. Like, school fucking sucks and she’s so fucking young, and like I know it’s all fun now but it’s going to get so shit and I don’t want her to go through all that crap…”

“But our girl’s tough.”

Down the road someone let’s out a jubilant laugh that across all throughout the neighbourhood. The laugh is contagious and the two of them find themselves laughing as well. 

“Yeah,” Louis breathes out, “she’s tough as hell.”

Across the garden, their dog- Pepper, the most wonderful life companion ever- is trying to run after his own tail and yep- Harry’s life is extraordinary and so fucking amazing. 

“Lou, look at Pepper.” Harry manages to get out in between a yawn. “Look at him.”

Louis stares at Pepper before glancing back at Harry with glassy eyes and a smile pulling at the corners of his moist. “Amazing.” He replies, lifting his hand to brush his thumb across Harry’s cheekbone. “You’re so beautiful.” He tells him, going completely off topic and bursting into a grin when he see’s the blush that spreads across Harry’s cheeks. 

In Harry’s lap there’s a half empty packet of organic sweet potato crisps that they’ve been snacking on. Harry turns his gaze back to the dog before looking at Louis who’s still looking at Pepper. 

“Would he like some crisps if I gave some to him?” 

Louis shrugs his shoulders and sighs. “Go ahead and try. Just try not to choke him.”

***

It’s past twelve am. Bibio is playing on the record player and they’re still lying on the hammock, pressed against each other whilst Louis draws constellations with the marks on Harry’s back. 

Every time Louis touches him it feels like he’s setting him on fire on each spot. Is it always going to feel like this? Is it ever going to stop feeling like this? Harry wouldn’t want that. 

“Let’s go swimming.” He suggests and Louis doesn’t hesitate to agree, probably feeling a bit restless because they’ve been sitting still for a while now. 

They stand up, stretching their bodies up towards the sky and clicking their bones. Their bedrooms too far away to get swimming trunks so they just trip down to their boxers or, in Harry’s case, nothing at all. 

Louis opens his mouth to make a cheeky comment but Harry throws him over his shoulder quickly, which makes him scream. His screaming if cut off when he’s thrown into the salt water of their pool with Harry still plastered on him. 

They resurface seconds after each other. Harry’s laughing loudly, his entire body is shaking and when Louis resurfaces shortly after him, he begins laughing even harder at the glare he gives him. 

“I love you!” Harry yells unnecessarily considering that they weren’t that far away from each other. Louis grins and he grins too. “Can you feel my heart beating from where you are?” he asks, tilting his head to the side and flicking his hair out of his face. Louis furrows his eyebrows and shakes his head, mouth tilted into a smile. “Okay,” Harry says, laughing a bit, “good. I- I just… I love you so much. And my heart, it’s beating really fast right now because you look like an entire universe Louis- all the tiny little galaxies that make one is exactly what you look like, what I’ve got to deal with everyday for so long now and I love you.” He swims closer to Louis until they’re standing within an inch from each other, breath mingling as one. “I really fucking do baby, I love you a lot a lot.”

Louis chuckles, eyes crinkling at the corners, and lifts his hand up to cup Harry’s cheek. “A lot a lot?” he questions, voice soft and airy. His eyes flicker to Harry’s lips before going back to meet Harry’s gaze once again and his eyes are so blue- too blue, almost. God, he’s so beautiful. There isn’t even a need for the sun because in front of Harry is a man who’s got enough light burning within him to set the world on fire. 

A moment passes and they stay silent, stay pressed against each other with their eyes locked and their hearts beating as one. Louis wraps his arms loosely around Harry’s neck and presses his face into the crook of his neck, legs wrapping around his waist too. 

“I love you too.” He replies, breaking the silence and restarting the world. He leans back to look at Harry. His eyelashes are a matted black and his eyes are glistening underneath the blazing sunlight shining onto their burning shoulders. “So much.” 

Harry kisses him hard with one hand pressed against his lower back and the other one caressing his cheek. Louis preens against his mouth and tightens his arms around his neck as well as his legs around his waist, eliciting a breathy moan from Harry as he tries to pull them closer to each other, which seems impossible considering how close they are already. 

They kiss and they kiss and they kiss until they run out of breath. Louis’ the first one to pull away and once he does, he leans forward again to kiss Harry again before pressing his lips to Harry’s shoulder. Harry smiles, chest moving fast and heart beating even faster. An entire lifetime passes and the only sound shared between the two of them is the sound of each of them breathing. 

“I can feel you smiling,” Harry tells Louis, “I can feel your heart.” 

Louis laughs softly and brushes his nose against Harry’s cheek. “Where do you think we’re going to be in seventy years from now?” he whispers into Harry’s ear, hands roaming his upper body and distracting Harry for thinking of anything else but him. 

“Together.” 

“Even when I’m old and gray? Even when I can barely get it up and can’t even go a second with coming?” 

Harry laughs. “Even then.” He says. 

Louis looks at him. It’s like staring straight into the sun. It hurts, of course it does, but he’s so warm and so happy. Louis could knock him out with three bricks at the same damn time and Harry would still think he was the most spectacular human being in the world. 

“Really?” He asks, narrowing his eyes accusingly. “Honestly?” 

Harry rolls his eyes whilst nodding his head sternly. “Really, really.” He says. “Why?” 

Louis visibly cringes at the question and shrugs his shoulders, casting his eyes down away from Harry’s sharp gaze. “It’s just that … I look at you sometimes and I’m so blown away by everything that you are. Like, I don’t even know how to comprehend how much emotion you evoke within me all the time. You challenge me. And I don’t want this to sound like I’m re-saying my vows and what not but fuck Harry I love you so much. So, so, so, so much and it hurts me all the time, all over, in a really sadistically good way- if that even makes sense…” they laugh together and Louis raises his eyes to the sky before looking back at Harry, eyes flickering around uncomfortably and flush evident from his chest, up. “But, yeah. I love you. You’re my actual, legitimate best friend and I still get so confused as to why you chose me, out of everyone else you could’ve chosen, to love and marry and have fucking children with. Like, let’s be real here; I’m not the world’s greatest husbands, or even Chelsea’s greatest husband, and-“

Harry wants to argue but Louis kisses him before he can say anything. He makes a sound of distress in the back of his throat and pulls away from Louis, eyes big and mouth turned down in a frown. 

“Lou… baby-“ 

Louis snorts and rolls his eyes. “-No. Let me speak.” He demands, playfully shoving Harry’s shoulder. “Anyway, as I was saying. I know I don’t say ‘I love you’ as much as I should and don’t get me started on how much of a horrible example I can be to the kids sometimes. I’m loud, argumentative, and bossy and I can be so bloody stubborn- but never as stubborn as you, which, ugh- and etcetera. I try so hard to be good for you though, and our children and I really fucking hope that what I’ve given you so far is enough because I’ve given you all of me. I never want you to not love you because I’m going to love you forever. I know it. I can feel it.” 

It’s hard to breathe when you’re feeling so much. Louis’ looking at him as if he created the entire world for just them and all the people they love. When Harry leans in to kiss him, all the weight on his shoulders vanishes. He feels like he’s just taken a cold shower after surviving through an excruciatingly hot day. 

Louis plays with the baby hairs at the nape of his neck and kisses him slow, like they’ve got all the time in the world. They’re holding each other so tight, like if they let go one of them would disappear. 

“I have never love and will never love anyone as gigantically as I love you, as I have loved you. I feel it all over too baby. I feel it in my head, in my toes, in my heart, in my fingers and especially in my dick…”

Louis laughs loudly and Harry laughs with him, blushing when Louis leans forward to brush their noses together in an Eskimo kiss. 

“No, but seriously. You’re not alone in this. I love you and I feel it everywhere, all over me and around me. I see you in everything and it drives me crazy sometimes but I wouldn’t have it any other way, I swear. I don’t expect you to confess your love for me every minute of every day. I know you love me, I can see and feel your love for me and that enough is beautiful on it’s own. I’m so at peace with you all the time. I don’t care about the type of person you are because I love that person, because all your annoying little traits are all the annoying little traits I fell in love with when I fell for you. I’m okay with you. I’m more than okay with you. I’m ecstatic about everything that you are and I can’t wait to get old with you, and learn more and more things about you and with you. “ 

Louis scrunches his nose when he smiles and his eyes crinkle at the side. “You’re an bloody romantic. Ew.” Louis whines playfully, chewing on his bottom lip. “I have no idea why I love you as much as I do.” 

Harry rolls his eyes. “And you’re such a pain in the arse, Jesus. And anyways, it’s probably because of how big my dick is.” 

He winks at Louis as he says this, who snorts but the blush on his cheeks tells Harry that he’s anything but annoyed. 

“Or heart, I don’t know.” 

Louis purses his lips to keep from grinning. “Okay…” He screeches when Harry licks his eyelid but settles into a hushed giggle when Harry bites softly into the skin of his sun-kissed shoulder. “Ew.” 

“Stop denying me!” Harry cries out dramatically, feigning a look of distress. “Allow yourself to feel!” he shouts, tearing up with laughter when Louis clamps his hands over his mouth to shut him up. 

Louis’ glowing as bright as his eyes are glowing and the two of them are practically vibrating with pure happiness. Harry sends a big thank you to the universe for allowing Louis, whom he loves so damn much. Their love has been invincible in all the lifetimes they’ve stumbled across each other. Harry knows this. Harry knows that they’ll meet again after this and that they’ll love each other just as much, just as hard as they do now. 

Which like, fuck. Louis’ so beautiful and he’s got so much love tucked into his petite body. If he could, Harry would buy a microphone large enough for every single soul on this planet to hear him declare his undying love for Louis William Tomlinson-Styles over and over again. 

They’re so beautiful and he wants everyone to see how bright their love is. He wants to hear people rejoice for them because they deserve it after everything they’ve been through- they deserve it so much. 

Loving Louis is easy- so, so easy- and so beautiful and so empowering in ways Harry never could’ve imagined. He’s so grateful.

***

They pick Waverly up at 13:30 pm. She comes barreling towards them at full speed, little squeals of excitement escaping from her mouth. Louis gets to her first and once his arms are around her, he’s laughing, standing up straight and twirling them around in the middle of the parking lot. 

“Daddy!” she yells right into his ears, peppering his face with little kiss whilst she holds onto his face with both her hands. “Missed you.” 

Louis and Waverly break out into an intense conversation about her day at school and Harry watches his family with bright eyes, grinning. His eyes flicker to a woman watching them from across the parking lot and her eyes are kind. She’s smiling at them and her eyes glance quickly to Waverly and Louis who seem to have forgotten that Harry actually exists. She waves at them and because Harry’s the only one who’s attention is on her, he waves back before she gets into a car with a little boy who Harry guesses is her child and drives away. 

“Let’s go home guys.” Harry says, bursting their little bubble and turning their attention onto him. Waverly greets him with a wide smile and glittery blue eyes. Her nose is crinkling cutely- like Louis, always like Louis- at the corners and when she turns her attention back to Louis, she stares at him as if he’s the greatest man in the world. 

As they get into the car, Waverly turns her body on Louis’ lap to pat Harry’s shoulder. 

“I’m driving sweet-“ 

“-They made me Queen papa!” she tells him excitedly, cutting him off. “And then this boy who’s name is Dexter and, and but I think his name is ugly so I call him Dex and he said I can and…” 

Harry laughs, glancing at her quickly. “Breath Wave, your words won’t run away from you.” 

She flushes a little at his remark but continues to talk nonetheless. “And he gave a rose, I lost it but he gave it to me. It was red like my dress!” 

“Really?” Harry coos as they park the car in the garage and get out. He steals her from Louis’ grasp and holds her up in the air, spinning her around and around. They’re standing on the front lawn. Waverly holds her hands up to the air, like someone’s going to reach down and hold them, and tips her head back as she screams and laughs jubilantly into the clear blue eyes. “You’re out little Queen!” Harry sings, grinning up at his sunshine child. 

He slows down a little when he begins to grow dizzy. Waverly’s head is still thrown back and her arms are still reaching for the sky. She looks like an angel and she is one. 

Louis points at the sun and Waverly makes the brave decision to stare straight into it because wincing and turning around. “Did you see that Blue? Look at the sun,” he tells her, “look at how it shines for you.” 

A man jogs past their gate. He slows down to watch them and Harry gets it. They’re beautiful. The love they share for each other is contagious- out of this world, really. They’re invincible. Harry gets it. 

***

At 14:15 pm, Sage and Indigo come bursting through the front door. Their hair is a mess of curls, curls and more curls and they’re wearing grins wide enough to fit oceans inside. 

Sage is holding a wilted flower in his hand. It looks like it used to be a daisy but Harry’s not so sure anymore. However, the fact that the flower is dead doesn’t stop Sage from being ecstatic about receiving it. 

“Look at what I found papa!” he exclaims to Harry, holding his flower out towards Harry who takes it and holds it to his nose, smiling. 

“It’s lovely Sage. Who gave it to you?” 

Sage immediately dives into a long story about “this pretty girl in my class called Pia.” She’s new, he tells them, and he can’t remember whether her name is actually Pia but she’s super pretty nonetheless. Judging from how much he’s spoken about her in the short amount of time he’s gotten home, Louis and Harry can tell that he’s absolutely smitten about her- as smitten as he was about Alexander, a boy who he had obsessed over last year. “Her eyes remind me of that hot chocolate daddy makes for us in winter!”

They all move outside to the back and when Louis sits down on the grass, Sage settles himself in between his legs. “She sounds lovely,” Harry tells him as he leans forward to press a soft kiss to his forehead. 

Sage suddenly moves from his position between Louis’ legs to go sit on the tree stump in front of Louis, insuring that all his attention is on him and when he catches Louis zoning out in the middle of another one of his stories, he huffs and asks; “Daddy, are you even listening to me?” His eyebrows are raised to the heavens and his eyes are a pretty mixture of the darkest brown and lightest green imaginable. 

Harry swats Louis’ arm and he blinks, caught of guard. When he meets Sage’s gaze, he laughs and rests his hands on Sage’s knees before smiling at him. 

“Were you getting distracted because ‘m beautiful or?” 

Louis rolls his eyes. “If that’s what you’d like to believe Sage.” He snorts, patting Sage’s thighs. “But if it’ll make you feel better than yes, you’re right, you’re so lovely and I can’t help being distracted by your beautiful eyes.” 

Next to him, Harry snorts. “That’s cringe.” He says, giggling and scooting over quickly when Louis tries to smack him. Sage laughs as well as Indigo and Waverly, who’s currently lying on Harry’s chest, dozing off more and more with every passing minute. Harry predicts that, with the way Indigo’s playing with her hair, Waverly’s going to be asleep very soon. 

“The sun feels nice papa.” Waverly murmurs softly, moaning quietly when Harry strokes his hands up and down her back. “Is it because of me? Papa, am I making the sun shine?” 

Harry smiles. “Of course you are my love,” he replies to her, “it’s always because of you.” 

“But sometimes it’s rainin’ and I don’t see no sun.” 

“That’s because the sun’s shining somewhere else in the world and even when you can’t see it, it’s still because of you. Plus, the sun is always there- always.” 

Waverly wiggles around to find a new position and slots her head in the crook of Harry’s neck. She breathes out, body deflating against his once again. “Really?” 

“Yeah. ‘M not lying! You make the sun shine all the time, everywhere, even in far away places!” he tells her excitedly, peppering kisses all over the parts of her face he can reach. 

There’s a brief moment of silence when everyone’s silent. Indigo’s resting her head on Harry’s thigh, Sage and Louis are doing something Harry can’t see and Waverly’s just breathing, little chubby fingers tracing the ‘1967’ tattoo on his collarbone. 

“I wanna be the sun.” Waverly says out loud, breaking the silence. Like before, the world suddenly begins again. Her eyes are closed and her hair is creating a curtain over her face. 

“You can be whoever and whatever you want to be Wave,” Harry tells her as she slowly starts to fall asleep under the warm rays of the sun. “I won’t love you any less.” He promises her. 

It takes a couple of minutes for the two of them to realise how quiet Indigo’s been. It’s weird because she’s never as quiet as she is now. 

Harry reaches his hand to pat her head and she scoots up to meet his gaze. “Hello.” 

“Hey love. What’s up? What’s got you so quiet?” 

She shakes her head. “Nothing,” she assures them and they don’t second guess her because everyone knows that Indigo would never lie about what’s bother her- would never ever need you to ask her what’s bothering her before she’s told you. “’M just thinking.” 

Harry strokes his thumb over Indigo’s chapped lips and blows her a kiss that she returns. “Indie, Bindie, Windie,” he sings to her, off tune and too loud considering the sleeping toddler on his chest, “I love you, I wove you, I pove you forever and ever.” 

Indigo giggles softly and the entire world slows down around them. The sun is up high and Waverly is limp in Harry’s arms, sleeping despite the boisterous laugh Indigo lets out and the back and forth arguing going on between Louis, Harry and Sage. 

Eventually outside becomes too hot and too humid to bear any longer so they head back inside the house. Louis and Harry go to Waverly’s room and tuck her into bed for a nap. 

“She must’ve been so tired.” Louis whispers, never taking his eyes off of her. Harry closes the blinds before turning around, eyes quickly skimming over the photo’s framed on the walls, the teddy bears strewn across the floor as a result from Louis and the little library of books in the corner. 

“Yeah,” Harry replies, eyes meeting Louis’. “It’s been a long day.” He says as he walks to Louis and wrapping his arms around his waist, chin resting on his shoulder. Louis smiles at him before spinning around in his arms and wrapping his arms around his neck. He pulls Harry down by his neck and gives him a slow, sweet kiss on the lips before telling Harry that he loves him. 

“So much,” he adds for emphasis, “it’s bloody fucking insane really.” 

Louis’ eyes light up, grin taking over his face. He lets Harry lead him out of Waverly’s room. 

The Tomlinson-Styles household is big enough for the seven. It’s not a mansion, not entirely, but it’s beautiful nonetheless- simple and homely. There’s artwork hanging from the walls- courtesy of Louis, his favourite artists and their eldest daughter, Margaret- as well as beautiful rugs that have been collected by Harry from every country he travels to. There’s also this wall they’ve dedicated entirely to all the photo’s they’ve taken of each other. It’s huge and it’s filled with pictures of Louis and Harry when they were still young, still reckless. There are pictures of every single on of their children, together and individually, at every stage of their lives- pictures of Jasper and Margaret and both of them, holding hands by a lake at age 4 and 6, looking like young gods. There are pictures of Sage and Indigo with hair as golden as the sun, pictures of Waverly at 2 weeks old, staring into the camera with her pretty blue eyes. 

They’re all pictures that Harry’s taken over the years, some with film and some without, and despite that they’re all so beautiful.

As they near the living room, they hear ‘Smells like teen spirit’ by Nirvana playing on a guitar and the soft tune of Margaret humming along. 

“I feel stupid and contagious,” Margaret sings, swaying her head from side to side with each note Jasper plays. Louis and Harry walk in silently at the same time as she breaks out into a laugh, sticking her tongue out at Jasper, unaware of their presence. “Here we are no, entertain us.” 

It’s 4:00 and they’ve probably just gotten back from school. They’re spread out on the sofa, school bags thrown underneath the antique coffee table in the middle and Jasper’s playing on Harry’s guitar that he keeps in the living room.

Louis’ the first to interrupt and he does this by sitting next to Jasper, who’s laying upside down but sits up quickly to throw himself on his father, wrapping his arms around Louis. 

Clearly caught off guard, Louis laughs. “I don’t think rock stars do this Jas.” He teases, wrapping his arms around his eldest son. 

Jasper laughs and Harry knows he’s rolling his eyes without even seeing him. “Shu’ up dad.” 

Harry sits next to Margaret and asks them how their days have been whilst stroking Margaret’s hair back and letting her cuddle into his chest. As soon as the questions been asked, the teenagers look up and stare at him with wide eyes- dark blue and vivid green, curly and thick, beautiful and beautiful. They look relaxed and tired. Harry loves them so much. He wants to tell them of how proud he is of them- how proud he is of who they were, who they are and who they will be. However, he decides to save that for another time because right now he can’t take his eyes over the smile to spreads across Jasper’s face as he watches Margaret let out a laugh loud enough to shake the world as she listens intently to Jasper’s story of how shocked his Mathematics teacher had been when she’d learnt that he hadn’t left the school. Harry, Louis and the twins laugh with her. 

“I’m such a nice kid,” Jasper sighs, leaning back on the couch and crossing his arms over his chest, “why does she dislike me so much? I’m a such gem.” 

Margaret snorts out loud at Jasper’s remark. “Funny…” she stage whispers, eyes staying locked on Jasper’s until he breaks away first. She grins triumphantly and gladly accepts the high-five Louis gives her. 

“Must be a Capricorn thing…” Harry tells the rest of his kids as they all watch Louis and Margaret separate themselves from them slightly. When he looks at Sage and Indigo, they’re off in their own world along with Jasper, leaving him by himself. He frowns and when he glances up to look at Louis, Louis’ already looking at him and his eyes are gleaming with happiness. 

There’s nothing greater than this feeling in Harry’s body. He’s so full of all the love in the world.

****

It’s easy to get overwhelmed, sometimes; by the constant amount of humongous love Harry receives and gives everyday from and to his very weird, very big family. 

It’s seven thirty now, in London, and the entire city is still bright with the bittersweet reminder that summer is ending. The sky is mixture of blue, pink, orange and yellow and when he looks at Margaret, the entire sky shows itself in her eyes. 

“When I grow up,” she says, “I want someone to love me just as much as dad loves you.” 

The atmosphere around Harry is electric. Everyone’s seated outside for dinner, around the long wooden table Harry insisted they get made at this dingy little store on the outskirts of London a couple years ago. 

Margaret is next to him, solid and as warm as she’s ever been- a constant reminder of the fact that he’s got other people to live for other than himself and Louis. She’s not their little girl anymore, can’t wrap herself around Harry’s leg like she used to when she’d been the same age as Waverly. She’s a woman now, who stands with her feet flat on the soil she’s grown on and speaks as if she’s lived for many centuries. Harry is always going to in awe of how cool and confident the air around her is. Margaret Ora Tomlinson-Styles never ever fails to blow Harry away. 

“Really?” Harry questions her, looking at her with wide eyes as he tilts his head to the side. “You don’t want that, trust me.” Somewhere in the distance Harry hears Louis gasp, feigning hurt. He glances at him quickly and sends him a quick wink that has him smirking. “I mean he’s quite obsessed with me Margo. It’s creepy.” 

The smirk on Louis’ face drops to the group and Margaret laughs, eyes crinkling at the corner, as well as her nose. All the colours in the world are cast over half her face. Sage is leaning over her lap, laughing too, fist pressed against his open mouth. He sits up and leans his upper body against the table at the same as Margaret leans back against her chair. 

“You’re wrong papa!” he shouts too loudly, giggling. “Daddy told me you were obsessed with him!” he tells Harry, running his pink tongue over the empty spaces where his two front teeth used to be before resuming his position across Margaret’s lap. 

A cold breeze moves past them and Sage shivers noticeably. The trees behind them rattle as their leaves fall. This is how you grow.

Harry’s mouth drops in shock and he turns his head to look at Louis with furrowed eyebrows. “No I’m not!” he argues, narrowing his eyes at his husband who’s sat all smug and warm on the other side of the table with Indigo in his lap. 

“You kind of are…” Louis replies, eyes darting around the garden and laughing when Indigo whispers something in his ear. “Like, you’re super obsessed with me and I get it, don’t be embarrassed.” 

It’s now Jaspers turn to chuckle and Waverly joins him, clapping her hands in excitement although she’s really got no idea what’s going on. 

“Pops, you are sort of obsessed with dad like, let’s be real.” He snorts. “Not even sort of,” he goes on, correcting himself, “but a lot.” 

Indigo shakes her head violently and interrupts them all by exclaiming, “No! But I think daddy’s way more obsessed with papa then papa is with daddy. It’s just no one notices as much because daddy’s less whiny about it.” 

Harry chortles. “Whiny?” he laughs, looking around the table to see if everyone else has heard what Indigo’s just said. Judging by the amused smirk on Margaret’s face, it wasn’t just him who’d heard it. 

Waverly hums and Harry looks at her quickly, wondering if she even knows what they’re actually saying. Then again, Waverly has always been full of surprises. Currently she’s sitting on Jasper’s lap and she’s wearing the loveliest blue jumper Harry’s ever seen. 

He locks eyes with Louis suddenly and feels his cheeks automatically heat him at the suggestive wink Louis sends his way that has everyone around them cackling with laughter at how gone Harry truly is for Louis- the idiot whom he calls the ‘love of his life.’  
“I think it’s mutual.” Margaret hums softly into the sleeves of her loose crotchet crop that matches the faint flush on her cheeks. Everyone’s laughter begins to simmer down a little and she rests her hands on top Sage’s hand on her thigh. “I mean, you guys love each other a lot- it’s obvious and it’s beautiful and, this is super cringe, but I’m so happy to have you two as my parents. I’m happy all the time because of you two and not just because of how much you love each other but because of how much you love us…” 

Jasper pretends to gag and Louis flicks him off which earns him a disapproving glare from Harry. “Just a little.” He says, taking a sip of the glass of white wine Harry poured out for him. “But like, touché.”

Louis looks at Harry and grins widely. They’ve made it this far without cracking and falling. Harry knows they’ll make it even further and maybe even further than that. 

*

Sometime later, when the sun’s completely set but the sky is still light with hope and love, Harry finds himself feeling a little breathless. 

This is because Jasper’s playing ‘You Already Know’ by Bombay Bicycle Club on the guitar whilst crooning softly, eyes closed as he lets himself get lost in the feel of it all. 

This is also because whilst listening to Jasper set the universe on fire, Harry turns his head to the left and finds himself staring at the wonderful image of Indigo, Sage and Waverly asleep on the hammock, bodies pressed against each other, hair a mess of blonde curls and thick wavy brown locks. 

To his right, Margaret is drawing a large lotus flower on the ground in chalk and just as Jasper’s voice cracks beautifully, she looks up and meets his gaze, sending him a faint smile that has his heart tripling in size. 

It’s hard not too feel so much when there’s so much to feel too much about. He’s surrounded by such beautiful, loving, positive souls. 

Sometime later, when the sun’s set completely but the sky is still light with hope and love, Louis lays his head on Harry’s shoulder and tells him, softly, “I love you.” 

And if Harry suddenly forgets how to breathe for a little bit then forgive him. He can’t help it. 

***

“I’m going to love you forever.” Harry whispers into the dark, fingers tracing the tattoo’s on Louis’ arm that he’s memorised by heart. They’re in bed, pressed up against each other, naked and tired after two rounds of sensual, quiet sex. 

Harry doesn’t think he could ever erase the sounds Louis makes when Harry’s thrusting into and he wonders how they’ve managed to stay so in tune with each other even after all these years. 

“I love you despite all the things we’ve put each other through, all the things we’ve put ourselves through, and I will continue to love you many more hardships that may come our way as well the good times. I’m going to love you through heat waves, snowstorms, thunder and the heaviest of rains. I’m going to love you even after the world as ended, even after I’m six feet underground- I’m still going to love you as much as I do right now. You’ve puked on me twice already and I’m still here and I still love you. You could puke on me again and my love for you wouldn’t change, wouldn’t lessen. At all, I promise you. I’d probably even find a way to love you even more, if that’s even humanly possible.” 

Louis’ eyes open and smiles up at Harry who’s resting on his side, upper body propped up by his elbow against the mattress. 

“I’m trying to sleep and you keep drowning me with sappy declarations of love.” 

Harry tilts his head back and cackles softly, not wanting to wake the kids up. “Shu’ up will you? Like honestly Lou, ‘ve just told you I’m going to love you forever and ever and all you care about is going to sleep? Fuck off.” 

Louis grins and leans his body up to wrap his arms around Harry’s neck, pulling them both back down to the mattress. “Tell me more, I didn’t mean it- I love you.” 

Harry runs his hands up and down Louis’ back, kissing his shoulder blade. “’M sorry for waking you up. I just couldn’t not tell you, like it was suffocating me and stuff, but yeah- I love you tremendously, so much. 

The room is pitch black but when Louis pulls away from him to look at him, Harry’s in awe of how magnificently bright he is- how bright he always fucking is. 

“Hmmm…” he let’s out, blinking at him languidly with glassy, worn out eyes. “I love you too, forever and ever and maybe even more than that.” He lifts a hand to grip at Harry’s jaw, eyes searching for something on his face that he must’ve found because moments later he’s breaking out into a heartbreakingly beautiful smile- beautiful enough to wipe out entire cities. “And maybe even more than that.” He adds on before yawning, body sagging into the mattress. His hand drops and lands on Harry’s bicep. 

Harry scoots closer to Louis and tucks his head in the crook of his neck. He lets out a deep breathe. 

“Goodnight my love,” Louis whispers and Harry’s heart positively swells in his chest. 

He stays latched onto Louis and when Louis turns his body so that he’s back is towards Harry’s chest, Harry pulls him close and wraps his arm around his waist. Their feet are tangled together; it looks as if they’re one person. 

“Your arm feels like an anchor around my waist.”

Harry snorts. “How ironic.” 

If he hasn’t said this already, then he’ll say it again. Harry’s so fucking happy. He’s filled to the brim with the feeling of immense satisfaction and sometimes it’s as if he could actually burst from all the constant happiness he feels all the time, every single day. Fortunately he never does explode, he just continues to live and that’s all he’s ever wanted- to live and to love and to be loved. 

And Louis- Louis who has been such a constant figure in his life, Louis who is solid and warm all the time, even on the coldest days- who makes life so much brighter, so much more spectacular, so much easier and beautiful.

**Author's Note:**

> HOPE YOU LIKED THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLS COMMENT IF U DID!!!!!!!!!! SO I CAN STOP SWEATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


End file.
